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First Comes Love

We all know the nursery rhyme and probably sang it to friends in a teasing manner growing up. "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Susie with a baby carriage."

This blog series will highlight how this song can illustrate the stages of our relationship in real life.

So, First Comes Love...

My husband and I met at a church startup in July. I was helping with their music ministry. He knew the pastor from his college days. My hubby worked an outside job and was wearing his official shirt and khaki shorts. I was wearing a fleece and shorts. He said it was the first thing he noticed about me and thought I was weird. I should probably tell you we live in Georgia and it is HOT in July. I noticed his gorgeous blue eyes set off by his tan. Then we started talking in the kitchen after the first meeting. He was so nice. I was dating someone else on and off again at the time. Over the next few months we got to know each other better. Dinner with friends a few times, a few more church events, and I finally asked him out in October!

We went on a few dates and then this sweet man sent me flowers to celebrate the one month anniversary of our first date. I was a goner. We now celebrate the anniversary of our first date every year on October 6. We typically eat at the same restaurant every year - the one where we celebrated our one month anniversary almost 18 years ago. With three kids, we don't get many traditional date nights these days but we are creative in spending time together.

When I am working with couples, they will often say things like, "I love my spouse, but I'm not 'In Love' with my spouse." I get it. But what most couples don't understand is that the love doesn't go away, it changes. But the fiery passion can fade, if you don't tend the flame.

One of the best ways to tend the flame is to recreate the early days of your relationship. Maybe go to the same restaurant. If there were flowers or candy given, give them again. Sit down and talk about the things that attracted you to one another in the first place. Recreate some of your best early memories. The best way to tend the flame and reignite the passion is building on personal intimacy.

If you haven't revisited the roots of your relationship with your spouse recently, do it today. It only takes a few minutes of memories to stir the fire and tend the flame. So, just remember First Comes Love...


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